Spring TrainingTrade

(AP) Thursday, April 25, 2018
Fatigued and over-caffeinated, GM's Ben Royer and Bri Boitano? finally agreed to a multi-player swap during spring training. "I've never spent that long on the phone in my life," said Royer. "What a battle. I think we both get what we want and we're glad it is finally over with."
SP Michael Pelfrey, who had been told he was involved in trade talks last week, was relieved to finally get it over with. "I've had my bags packed for a week. I've passed 2 physicals. I've had my agent looking for apartments for me, then stop, then start again. I am looking forward to pitching this season in Philly, however. I'm used to the hot and muggy stuff and I heard Philly and Thailand have the same climate in the summer."
Also moving to Philly are 1B K Ryu, SS A Cannizaro and RP R Quinonez and $5M US. Fever GM Bri B sent 25 year-old P P Connick, 24 year-old P R Delmas, 37 year-old LF N Jackson and SS Adrian Cardenas, Philly's 1st round pick last season out of Auburn. "We didn't want to part with this guy at all," said Bri B. "But we want to take a shot at the North this year. We dragged our heels a little bit I guess, but we like to be certain. There's the physicals, private detectives, Department of Homeland Security investigation, and we even like to speak to a possible new player's grade school teachers - it helps us out with our character assessment."
Noted GM B Royer, "I dealt with the delivery of our new child, sold our house, bought a new house and moved during the time it took to do this trade. It had better pay off."
A few things that don't take as long as a CHNG-Royer/PHI-BriB trade discussion:
A 7 player game of Risk.
Summits between world superpowers.
Winter.
Presidential primaries, nominations and elections.