HSH: San Juan

Projected record: 85-75

Key Additions: Carlos Beltran, Jon Garland, Oscar Villarreal, Gil Meche (lol)

Key Losses: About a million brain cells, thanks to all the Bud Ice or whatever cheap beer it is that Gluvna drinks.

On first appearance, the 2016 Senadores look rather, well, boring. They featured a middle of the pack offense (seventh in the league with 804 runs scored) and an average pitching staff (seventh in the league with a 4.41 ERA), no one hit 30 home runs and none of the starters posted a ridiculously low ERA. Still, they managed to win 87 games and just barely missed the playoffs.

The lineup should bump up into the upper tier of the league this season. A full season of at-bats from Brad Miller, who hit .307 with 16 homeruns in just 352 at-bats, combined with another go ‘round from Matt Musser, Floyd Larkin and Buzz Bliss should strike plenty of fear into opposing managers. Musser and Bliss blistered the base-paths for a combined total of 59 triples and 127 stolen bases. No pair of teammates hit more triples in 2016, and only the combination of BB Boo-Ya and Jay Bruce (128 swipes) had more steals. Guess what? They’re still kids, so expect them to terrorize opponents for years to come.

Things don’t seem to be as rosy on the pitching side of things. Jeff Niemann headlines the group, and while he’s definitely solid, his career 4.08 ERA doesn’t blow you away. It’s not like he leads an unheralded group, either. Well, they’re unheralded, but it’s for a reason. Brett Myers, Gil Meche, Dewon Brazelton? Please, somebody stop me. No really, stop me. He made a run at Jake Peavy in the offseason, but Kyoto pulled out all the stops for the veteran right hander.

The bullpen was average, too, outside of strong performances from Alvin Dailey and Edwin Jackson. I was tempted to rate them below average, but seriously, look around at bullpens around the league. There are basically a handful of reliable relievers and then a combination of rookies and journeymen.

Speaking of journeymen, Senadores general manager Bill Gluvna pulled another rabbit out of his hat with Jackson. Who’s the guy with two thumbs and a 4.73 career ERA? Who’s the guy with two thumbs, 23 saves and a 2.93 ERA last year? I’ll give you a hint, the guys name starts with an “E” and ends with a “dwin Jackson”. The year before Jackson it was Carlos Hernandez, in 2014 it was damn near the entire pitching staff, the year before that it was Andrew Brown.

Who will be this year’s candidate for the Annual San Juan Scrap Heap award? I’ll say Oscar Villarreal. What excites you more, the 5.05 career ERA or the .288 career average against? Maybe the fact that he’ll probably best his career averages in every category. Whatever Gluvna is feeding these guys, spread it around, buddy.

All of this leads us into 2017. Atlanta is good (duh), while Savannah and Baltimore are just…boring. Not that any staff that throws out Carlos Hernandez, Gil Meche and Jon Garland is necessarily sexy, but compare the lineups from the Panthers, Sabres and Senadores. Wouldn’t you think San Juan has the edge there?

Anyway, it looks like you can take a four-team race between Atlanta, San Juan, Philly and Halifax to the bank this year. The American League is going to get three playoff teams and my money says all three are coming out of this group.

Projected lineup

1. Bliss, Buzz

2. Musser, Matt

3. Larkin, Floyd

4. Teixeira, Mark / Miller, Brad

5. Wright, David/ John Miller

6. Crawford, Carl

7. McCann, Brian

8. Boarman, Anthony

Projected Rotation

1. Niemann, Jeff

2. Myers, Brett

3. Hernandez, Carlos

4. Meche, Gil

5. Garland, Jon / Brazelton, Dewon

Closer

1. Jackson, Edwin

Beer

1. Ice, Bud