Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Ronin GM on Suicide Watch as Star Slugger Goes Down Opening Day



PARIS - The optimism of another Opening Day was replaced with dread for Ronin fans as All-Star left fielder Ruben Brown left the game today. The diagnosis: bone spurs in the feet.

Brown raked this spring, leading the league in homers. Osaka faithful felt that the team had a good chance at competing for the post season if (woops) Brown, Rockwell and Peppers stayed healthy all year. Now, just one series into the season, the Ronin are a man down.

Team doctors say Brown will need 6-8 weeks to recover. When asked why these bone spurs were not diagnosed this spring, team doctors suddenly lost all ability to speak English.

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